Growing Up...

Yeah, I'm going to do a lame "I feel weird thinking about my birthday" speel. But that's the thing though. I do feel just a bit weird thinking about my birthday. It's coming up within the next week and I'll be 21 years old. That's kind of odd to think of. It's like I haven't had enough life experience on this earth to be 21 years old yet, but here I am, turning 21 and still feeling like a teenager. At times I still feel like I'm 18 and then I remember that was three years ago. I'm no longer 18. I'm no longer a college freshman looking for my own place in the world and I'm no longer alone.

Three years ago I never would have thought that I would be married by the time I was 21. I never thought
that I would be graduating in about a year and a half and so many other things. It's amazing to think about how much I've changed in these past few years and yet I don't fee like I've changed at all. I'm still Ashley, I'm still the girl that grew up in a small town area, graduated high school with honors and somehow made it to BYU for college. But there are things about me that have definitely changed. I'm much more willing to try out styles of clothing that I could have immediately dismissed in high school. And I do know that I'm more...relaxed? Open? I'm not sure what the word for it is, but I am much more...myself, I guess. The person I might have allowed myself to be if I wasn't trying so hard to be different from everyone else in my family. Yes, I will admit, moving away from my family did help with the loosening up of who I had made myself to be in high school. Now, don't get me wrong, I love my family to pieces, but to move away from them did help me with some things in my personality that I had some problems with.

Some of my friends and I
our senior year of high school

Looking back, people always say that you have perfect vision. And I will agree with them. To an extent anyway. Looking back at my life when I was living with my family and looking at life now, I would say that there are some things that I might change, but I'm not sure I would. Who I was then has helped in making me into I am now. As you can see, who I was then, (look at said picture on left) a girl who hid behind others a bit, a girl who would gladly let others have center stage. At least, that is how I saw myself.

Richard and I now

Looking at myself now though, I can see that I'm more outgoing, and more willing to do things with groups than I was in high school. A way that I can tell that I've changed is one of my friends from church told me something. She said that I "intrigued" her, just because of how I dressed. When I asked her how this was, she said it was because I don't dress fully Mormon. And I don't. I don't dress like a Molly Mormon at all. So I was actually really glad that she said that. I mean, I still dress to meet modesty standards, but I don't dress how you would expect a Molly Mormon to dress. I'm actually glad for that as well. I don't want to dress like a Molly, as I am not a Molly Mormon. Not at all. Here's a picture of what I look like now, as compared back in high school. For one thing, I'm much more willing to dye my hair all sorts of awesome colors. I wasn't that willing to do so in high school. And I dress more like myself than I did in high school. I like how I dress now moreso than I did in high school as well.

So I guess in growing up these past three years, I've become more of how I am supposed to be and less of what my image of what I thought I should be. I like who I am now. Growing up has been interesting and I look forward to continue doing so. As long as I can still act like a kid every once in a while. What's the point of growing up if I can't still act like a kid? ;)

Helping Others

It's been a while since I last wrote. It seems that I had gotten into the habit of writing and posting on Mondays. I just wanted to post a small snippet on some things that I have learned these past few months. To help others is to do good. Even when you yourself are in the worst of moods, helping someone, even just a little bit, can always lighten your mood.

In the house above us, there lives a little old lady named Phylinda. These past few months, I have been helping her learn how to better use her computer and her new smart phone. This is really the first time that I would really get to know someone that wasn't my age, and not of my family. She has so many amazing stories to tell and there are many times when I have come to wish that I could record her stories. There have been times when I would wonder why I was helping her. But it was what would happen at the end of each session that I would remember why I was helping her. Phylinda would turn to look at me and say "I'm always so thankful that you're willing to help me. I don't want to be sanctimonious, but you've been like a guardian angel to me, and I've been so thankful that you and your husband decided to live here. You've been such a help to me and I hope that I have been some help to you in return."

Now, just so you remember, I don't help her for the glory of it. I help her because it's what I wanted to do. So on the days I forgot WHY I was helping her, to hear her say those few words always made me grateful that I could help her. Phylinda is trying to integrate herself in the use of all the technology that I have grown up with. What it nearly instinctual to me is a struggle for her. But she keeps trudging on and trying to learn all that she can. What I can do to help I'm willing to do. The bad thing though is that now that school is out for the summer now, I don't have as much time to help her as hours at my job have increased. And it kind of makes me sad that I'm unable to see her as often as I did. Though there should be a time hopefully that I can see her and help her again.

Now while this example of helping others is extremely close to home for me, there is another that I have that is quite dear to my heart. I have a friend out on her mission right now. She is my ABSOLUTE best friend in the world. There are seriously times, when she was still here, that I had thought we were soul twins. But seeing as she is now on her mission, it feels like I've lost my sister. Yes, we do write, quite often actually, and I've sent her a package, but it's not the same. Yet, I know that what she is doing is worth both of us feeling like we are missing something from our lives. She is helping others realize what my dad realized nearly 11 years ago. That while they may be satisfied with how their lives are right now, there is so much more to be realized with the gospel. Yes, it is hard and yes, there will be disappointments, but it is all worth it if she and her companions bring even just one soul to our Saviour. And I'm proud of her. And I'm kind of jealous of her at the same time. I was told all while I was growing up that I would make a great missionary. But then I met Richard. And while I DO NOT regret marrying him, I almost wish that I could have also gone on a mission. But when we're older, I do believe that Richard and I will go on a couple's mission. :)

Our Refuge and Strength by Morgan Weistling

So yeah...those are my thoughts of the helping of others. And a bit of advice. While it takes nothing to walk on by someone and not think if they need help, you feel so much better when you offer to help someone, especially when they cannot help you in return. Our Saviour was always willing to help those in need. He is our refuge and strength, if we but turn to Him and do as He would do. :)

Obedience to Law is Liberty

Hi again! So, as some people know, I've been writing about spiritual experiences, or trying to at least. And I have a new one to add here. :) It's not often that I have an experience that I want to write about, or I do and I forget to write about it till I've forgotten what it was about. Not this time though!

So just yesterday I gave a talk in sacrament meeting in my ward. Mind you, I don't mind talking in front of large crowds. This was my first talk in several years though that was actually planned out and that I had to give. The last time I gave a talk like this was when I was in debate my senior year of high school. I got to say though, it went pretty well. The one thing about giving talks in church though is that I tend to get a little emotional, so I was crying a little by the end of my talk. But I wasn't full on crying, just a few tears were leaking out.

Anyway, what my talk was about was obedience. Bishop Stone asked me if I would talk on obedience, some things from conference, and some personal experiences that I have had with obedience. I agreed, and I already had an idea of what it was that I would be talking about. As the week went by without my preparing for my talk, I would think of things which I would like to speak about, but then they would just leave my mind. So in walks Saturday night. I still hadn't written my talk yet and I still only had a vague idea on what I wanted to talk about. So I started writing things down that I wanted to talk about. It may not seem like I was actually doing anything, but just having a bunch of writing on a certain subject helps me focus on what I want to write about. One of the things that I had written down was where the title of this post came from. the title of Elder L. Tom Perry's talk from this recent General Conference. He talked how obedience to the laws that we are given is what will bring us happiness.

Now that may seem a little backwards to some people, to me it makes sense. It's like obey the rules your parents lay down for you so you don't get grounded. Actually....it's a lot like that. You obey our Heavenly Father's commandments, you will be able to return to live with him again. For those of you who want to listen to his talk, or read it, you can follow this link --> Obedience to Law is Liberty to lds.org to listen.

So I talked about Elder Perry's talk for a bit, and I also talked a bit about a scripture that came to my mind right before I got up to speak. It was Alma 57: 20-21. It's about the 2000 Stripling Warriors of Helaman's Army and how they learned obedience from their mothers. They learned to obey with FAITH. After I explained the story of the Stripling Warriors, I added my own experience. I spoke of how my own mother taught me to obey the law of tithing.

Momma, Alex, and me. Don't we just look lovely? :)

Now while it may not seem like a lot to some people, but for me, this has had a HUGE impact on my faith. I have always paid my tithing, ever since I can remember. I may not always pay it on time, but I make sure to always pull ten percent out of my paychecks to pay tithing first, before I use the money for anything else. While I was still living at home, I didn't really see any immediate blessings from obeying this law. Once I came out to Utah for school though, I started seeing the blessings. I haven't once had to take out a loan, or go into any form of debt to pay for school. I also haven't had to ask my parents for any money, AT ALL, especially as they need the money more than I do at the moment seeing as my younger sister is to be married in August. My school has paid for my tuition and I get Pell Grants every semester in order to pay for other items. This I know has come about because of my willing obedience to the law of tithing. This has greatly increased my faith in knowing that my Heavenly Father is definitely looking out for me, and my husband as well. This great increase in faith came only because I obeyed the law like my momma taught me. All of that extra money wouldn't have helped as much as my Heavenly Father has. And I KNOW that for a fact!

General Conference Pt. 2

Here's the second part of General Conference that I promised you. Well, those of you that read this anyway.

So, my other favorite talk from General Conference was that of Elder Enrique Falaballa's, titled The Home: The School of Life. It was basically about how in life, there is a school for parents. There is a school in which we learn how to raise our own children. It is the home that we ourselves grew up in. How are families raised us is a guideline on how we are to raise our children. And I agree that our homes of our childhood's is where can learn how to raise our future children.

Elder Falaballa gave six points on how this was to be accomplished:

1) The Temple is the Place

Mount Timpanogos Temple

This is the temple where my husband, Richard, and I were married and sealed for time and all eternity. In my opinion, this is one of the most beautiful temples our church has to offer. This more so because of what happened here for my husband and I. Elder Falaballa speaks of his own marriage. He told of how the civil ceremony for he and his wife was both happy and sad at the same time. Happy, because he was married to the love of his life. Sad though, because while there were married, they were married for the expiration date "till death do us part." 

After their civil ceremony, Elder Falaballa and his wife then made the sacrifice to travel to the Mesa Arizona temple where they were then sealed for time and all eternity. It is when we obey the commandments of the gospel that we are able to receive blessings from God. Elder Fallabala and his wife were able to return to Guatemala after their temple sealing due to the generosity of the ward they visited as well as their obedience to the commandment to be sealed.

2) To Contend, You Need Two People

"To contend you need two people, and I will never be one of them." This is one of Blanquy, Elder Falaballa's wife, mottoes for their marriage. And it's a good one. One that I'm not very good at yet. I still take offense at some of the smallest of things, especially things that I shouldn't be taking offense at. This is definitely something that I need to work on.

3) A Child Who Sings is a Happy Child

Another one of Blanquy's mottoes. A child who sings is a child who is happy in their home, especially when that music that is sung is sacred music. The Lord knows the importance of sacred music, and He rejoices when He hears the song of the righteous. When it comes to music there has always been a passage of scripture that comes to my mind, "For my soul delighteth in the song of the heart; yea, the song of the righteous is a prayer unto me, and it shall be answered with a blessing upon their heads." Cookies to anyone that can tell me where this scripture is. :)

Anyway, sacred music in the home is what will make the home a happier place. And it helps to know that when you have children, you wouldn't want them listening to to something that would make your own mother blush.

4) I Need You to Hug Me

There are very few things, words, or gestures that can turn a bad, horrible, terrible, nasty day into a good one and they are the ones that your significant other tell you nearly all the time. "I love you," "thank you very much," "forgive me," and even the phrase "I need a hug," can make everything just the tiniest bit better. I know this to be true and I know that even just asking for a hug can make the blackest days just a bit brighter. Expressing love is the way to show that we care for the others, and that doesn't even have to take words. The simplest touch, the smallest note of affection, these are greatest ways that we can show how much we love one another. And we learn this in the home first.

5) I Love the Book of Mormon and My Saviour, Jesus Christ

We have been given the challenge many times in our church to read through the Book of Mormon front to back, back to front, sideways and to STUDY the Book of Mormon. This precious book is another testament and witness of our Saviour Jesus Christ. We are meant to read this along with our study of the Holy Bible as well. It is when we are able to find joy in reading the scriptures that we are able to love both the scriptures and our Saviour.

And we are to the final point of Elder Falaballa's talk:

6) It Is Not Enough to Know the Scriptures; We Have to Live Them

It is not enough that we study the scriptures, but we also have to LIVE them. Yes, there may be many of us who are able to quote scriptures backwards and forwards, but that means nothing if we are not living what we studying. I once heard of a quote stating something along the lines if you say one thing yet live another, you are a hypocrite. So yes, it is good, great even to know the scriptures and their stories. But it is even better to live what the scriptures tells us as well.

All of these points that Elder Falaballa have told us this past conference have made an impact on me and how I wish to raise my own family. Right now, Richard and I are just a small family, but once we are out of school and where we wish to be permanently, we will start a family. And I want to apply these points to our lives in order to raise our future children well. There were actually a lot of things this conference that I learned. These two talks that I highlighted though were the ones that had the most impact on me. And I hope that in some way I've been able to have some impact on your lives as well. Even if this is just a small blog.

General Conference Pt. 1

This last weekend (April 6-7) was the LDS General Conference. And if there's one thing about my church that I love is that General Conference comes every six months and we are able to hear what we need to hear for the the upcoming year. We hear from our prophet and president of the church, Thomas S. Monson. And this past conference was, for me anyway, much needed. There were many talks about things that have been talked about before, but there is always a reason for this. It's because we still need to hear about this things; we still haven't overcome the challenges and so we still need to hear how we are loved by our Heavenly Father and so need to hear how we can overcome our challenges.

Some of my favorite talks from this past weekend were by M. Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, and Enrique R. Falaballa of the First Quorum of the Seventy.

Elder M. Russell Ballard's talk was about the work and glory of God. The title of Elder Ballard's talk is had actually reminded me of a scripture from the Pearl of Great Price: Moses 1:39. "For behold, this is my work and my glory--to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of many." A lot of what I remembered from this particular talk was that the priesthood power that is given to worthy male members cannot fully function without the woman in a man's life.

"In the revelation given to the Prophet Joseph Smith in section 81 of the Doctrine and Covenants, the Lord explains that the power of the priesthood is to be used to “succor the weak, lift up the hands which hang down, and strengthen the feeble knees” (verse 5)."

Elder Ballard then gave an analogy of what this reminded him of: a young girl explaining to her grandfather her second-grade science project-that of growing a tomato plant from one little seed.

She then explained how if this one little seed grew and was well cared for, it was have many tomatoes grow from it, and all of their seeds could do the same. Millions of tomatoes could come from one little seed. The little girl then explained how she had almost killed her tomato plant. She had left it in a dark room and had forgotten to water it. After a while, once she remembered she had a tomato plant, she came back to see that it was wilted and looked dead. She told her mother about this, almost in tears about killing her little tomato plant, when her mother suggested that her plant wasn't dead, it only looked like it. If they watered it, and gave it the sunlight it needed, her tomato plant would be healthy again.

Elder Ballard then told us how we, as spirit children of our Heavenly Father, we are just like that little girl's tomato plant. We are so FULL of potential, unlimited, even divine potential! But if we drift away from this gospel of Christ, if we let ourselves fall away from the light and the living waters of Christ, we can end up like the tomato plant, wilted and nearly dead. Those that have the priesthood, but do not do everything that they can to use it to it's full potential deny themselves, and their families, the blessings that are inherent in the power of the priesthood. They and their families are deprived of all the blessings, the light, and the living water that we need as children of our Heavenly Father.

The main reason that I love this talk is because of the emphasis it puts on USING priesthood power for the helping and serving of others. The men are to use this power to help others, not to let it just sit and look awesome. It is a tool for service, not a trophy. It is to be used as our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ would use it: for the serving and succoring of others.

Now I would continue onto Elder Falaballa's talk, but I honestly believe that this is a good stopping point. So next post will be about Elder Falaballa's talk...and I just like writing Elder Falaballa's name. :)

Who I Am

I guess there's just something about me and journals. I like to write about the things that happen in my life and this is just another way for me to do that. An electronic journal, something that I haven't quite tried before.

Anyway, I'm Ashley. I'm 20 years old, and a junior in college. I'm married to the love of my life Richard and have been for almost 8 months now. I'm studying SocioCultural Anthropology and hope to study religion and what influences it has on people's lives. I am also taking a language class, Navajo. It's who I am, and I wish to learn how to speak my own language. My dad says that I'm starting to sound Indian again. I am also half Navajo, thanks to my dad. :) That explains my reasons for wanting to study Navajo.

Richard and I

Now there is something that I want to talk about. About 2 days ago, on April 4, I was having my lunch at school when 4 people asked if they could interview me on what my thoughts and views were on Mormonism were. I agreed. You know those times, those stories you hear about how others talk to people who ask them questions about why they are Mormons, or what's the fundamental belief, why do we believe what we believe. These were some of the questions that I was asked. And while this was happening, I learned something about myself. Something that I should have probably learned a long while ago.

While I may believe in the gospel and I KNOW it to be true, I am unable to say why I know this to be true. I have had it confirmed to me that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day-Saints IS TRUE, and I know this in my heart. But if you were to ask me to point out scriptures certain passages, I wouldn't be able to do so. This is what I've learned: I need to actually start studying my scriptures. I know the stories, I know what the messages mean, but I have no idea where in the scriptures I could find a specific scripture to support my beliefs. That's the thing though, I'm not really sure if that's something that I need to be learning. Yes, I should definitely be studying, pondering, and praying about what I study. And I do need to start doing that more, I just need to pay better attention I guess.

Anyway, I did manage to answer their questions well enough I guess. I just wish that I had been able to do better. Anyway, I guess that was my experience that I can share with others, of how I tried to spread the gospel and how I could have done better. I did the best that I could.